


Some Strings Attached

by innersanctuaries



Series: NaNoWriMo Short Fics [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 23:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12804510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: No attachments required to complicate the complicated complications.





	Some Strings Attached

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I told a friend of mine that I wasn't planning on posting any more late-night fics. I was right! Four in the morning is officially considered way too goddamn early bird posting! 
> 
> I was listening to music and this little fuckin idea wormed its way into my head and hasn't left til I wrote it. Therefore, plot bunny BEGONE!!!!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Song inspo is Reaper Man by Mother, Mother
> 
> (https://youtu.be/1QA9x76xWS4)

“I can’t get attached, my job’s always moving.”

 

 It was funny how Sam didn’t even realize that Gabriel knew he was a hunter. To be fair, it wasn’t like he’d broadcast his presence to the world, of course some hunters would come by to check in on the deaths. He hadn’t expected it to be a massive puppy masquerading as an electrician. They were meant to be, both of them in the stupidest disguises known to mankind. 

 

 “Oh, Sammy. Who said we had to get attached?”

 

 Sam looked so nervous, trying to pick between the two options he was given. He could go back to his motel room to research with Dean, or he could go out to dinner with the handsome and vibrant man he’d just met. It was a no-brainer.

 

“Fine. Where would we be going?”

 

 “Well damn, don’t sound so excited,” Gabriel laughed and cut Sam off before he could apologize. “Kidding, I’m kidding! There’s this cute diner around the corner. D’ya wanna go home to get changed or do you have clothes under that uniform?”

 

“Unfortunately, I don’t have clothes under this. When do you wanna meet up?”

 

 “I wouldn’t complain if you would go without the uniform on right now.”

 

“But I don’t have any clothes on under-” Sam shot Gabriel a bitchface as it dawned on him. “Y’know, I can still change my mind and say no.”

 

 “I’ll see ya here at six, Sammy,” Throwing him a wink, Gabriel sauntered away.

 

 Ten o'clock at night found them cuddled up together in bed after having the best night either of them had had in far too long. Gabriel knew that he’d soon be found out, but he shoved that thought into the furthest corner of his mind and tried to enjoy this. Sam was warm and soft and oh so comfortable. It was stupid, but for a second there, he almost wished he was human. If only to spend a bit more time with Sam without having to fear getting stabbed the next day. 

 

_ “I can’t get attached.” _

 

__ Gabriel turned his mind off and slept.

 

_______________

  
  


 He’d dropped by to teach Sam a lesson, he really had. Dean was going to die, and soon. Gabriel knew what it was like to be unable to keep going with your family, and he didn’t want Sam to end up like him. He really and truly didn’t.

 

 But he’d made himself obvious. Whether he did it on purpose or not, that was to be determined. Sam caught his eye as Gabriel was on his way out, and he knew that Sam would be on his way out soon. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Sam grabbed his disguise by the shoulder and spun him around.

 

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be  _ dead _ !”

 

 “Excuse me? Get off of me, I don’t know you.”

 

“Oh, that’s bullshit,” Sam scoffed. “You changed everything but your eyes. I know your eyes.”

 

 Speaking of eyes, Gabriel rolled them so hard he was surprised they didn’t do a full 360 turn. Morphing back into his regular vessel, he took Sam’s hand and dragged him along the sidewalk.

 

 “It’s cute that you remember me,” Gabriel laughed at seeing Sam recoil. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill you. But I was dropping by to kill your brother.”

 

 Without warning, he was being lifted off of his feet and slammed into a wall. “If you go anywhere near him, I will shove a stake so far up your ass you can  _ taste  _ it. Understand?”

 

 “Well I’m not going to do it anymore,  _ duh. _ ”

 

 Seeing Sam confused was always one of the highlights of his day. The kid obviously couldn’t seem to process the fact that while Gabriel had been here to kill Dean, he’d spontaneously decided he’d be fine without it.

 

“Why not?”

 

 “What, do you want me to? I could go back and make a rabid chihuahua eat his face off if you’d like.”

 

“No, no!” Sam exclaimed, eyes bugging out as he shook his head violently. “I meant why the change of heart?”

 

 Gabriel had no idea. Actually, that was a filthy, no-good lie. 

 

 All it had taken was one look at Sam talking with Dean, enjoying what little time they had left. He’d always tried to convince himself that he didn’t have a heart. That he was a ruthless bastard who could dole out any punishment or lesson to anyone with no hesitation. He was wrong.

 

 It didn’t happen often. In fact, it didn’t happen at all. But this stupid moose man had him fucked up, and he didn’t know why.

 

 “Who knows?” Gabriel shrugged it off, hoping Sam out take the hint to leave it at that. 

 

“Alright. Why stick around?”

 

 “Was wondering if maybe you had some free time tonight, Sammy.” He said with a wink.

 

“Dude. You literally told me that you were going to kill my brother a minute ago.”

 

 “Details, details,” That little furrow in Sam’s brow always made him smile, even if he didn’t want to. “Although, you never told me no.”

 

 Sam wanted to. It was all over his face, his body language. He’d long since let Gabriel touch back down onto the ground, but he’d never let go. He was still, in a way, pinning him to the wall.

 

“I’m not supposed to get attached, especially not to you.” 

 

 Gabriel deflated a bit, whether Sam had seen it, he’d never know.

 

 “Yeah, not supposed to get attached to monsters, I know. I’m not asking you to marry me, just asking if you can fuck me into the mattress as nicely as you did last time. I don’t think I’ve ever had a human leave me sore the night after.”

 

“Hey, you’re not a monster,” Scoffing, Gabriel moved away, snapping them over to a nearby bench, leaving Sam disoriented. “Oh jesus christ, don’t do that!”

 

 “Can a human do that?”

 

“If they sold their soul, maybe.”

 

 “Answer the question, Sam.”

 

“No, they can’t.”

 

 “Then I’m a monster.”

 

“You’re really not,” Sam held up a finger to shush him before he could protest. “Uh-uh. You’re going to sit your ass down and listen to me.”

 

 “Fine.”

 

“I know you know that Dean’s gonna die soon. A lot of people do. You were going to kill him, but you didn’t. Why didn’t you?”

 

 He could have given a sarcastic answer, sure, but what did he have to lose? It wasn’t like a stake to the heart would kill him or anything.

 

 “You were having fun with him. As much fun as emotionally constipated hunters can have, at least”

 

“Monsters don’t give a shit about that stuff. Emotions. The real effects their actions’ll have on others. Or they think too much on it, enjoy it too much. You didn’t.”

 

 There was so much he could say to refute that, so much he could tell him to show him he was wrong.

 

 “Thought you weren’t supposed to get attached?”

 

“I’m free tonight at six. I never got to finish my breakfast, so you owe me dinner at the diner.” Without another word, Sam walked off.

 

 Gabriel stayed sitting at that bench for a good long while, wondering why  _ he  _ was the one who might be getting attached.

 

_______________

 

“You know, you could have told me.”

 

 He wasn’t sure why Sam had come back into the warehouse after Dean had left, seconds before the ring of holy fire finished getting put out. 

 

 “I’m sure that would have gone over just great. ‘Hey Sam, you know how I’m already a monster you’re fucking? Guess what? I’m also an archangel in hiding!’” 

 

 Sam was leading him out of the warehouse over to a nearby car, and the breeze outside made Gabriel realize how cold he was. He might not have been human, but this body was, and it hated the cold.

 

“First off, I have a blanket in the trunk. You want me to get it for you?” Begrudgingly, he nodded. “Get in the car and I’ll pass it to you. Anyway, second off, I think we’ve mentioned that you’re not a monster before.”

 

 “That doesn’t make it true.”

 

“Funny thing is, you’re an angel, not a monster.”

 

 “Funnier thing is,” Sam walked around and got into the driver’s seat, immediately turning on the heat. “I think the two are synonymous at this point.”

 

“You’re not like them.” Sam scowled.

 

 “Yeah? How would you know?”

 

“Because I’m an idiot and I’m getting attached!” Sam exclaimed, surprising them both. “I wasn’t supposed to, but now I am! I don’t even know why. You just made me star in a Japanese game show where I got a bowling ball to the nuts and then put me in a genital herpes commercial. But I’m still getting attached!”

 

 There was silence. It wasn’t that Gabriel didn’t want to say anything, it was more like he couldn’t seem to get any words out. He could see Sam getting more and more anxious with each second that passed, but his mouth wouldn’t form words for the life of him. Sam pressed his lips together and started the car, jaw tensing and untensing.

 

“Forget I said anything,” Sam whispered, staring straight ahead. “Please don’t let that fuck this up.”

 

 “I’m pretty sure I’m getting too attached for my own good too.”

 

 Sam finally looked up at him with those hopeful eyes, a smile creeping onto his face. “Really?”

 

 “Yup.”

 

 Gabriel laughed at the sight of relief Sam let out, which only served to get him an elbow to the ribs. 

 

 “Now, I think I might have to inspect your dick, make sure I didn’t break it.”

 

“Damn, you probably should.” 

 

 “A very thorough inspection. Gotta be one hundred percent certain it’s okay.”

 

“Better get started then, don’t you think?” 

 

 As it turned out, Sam’s dick was completely fine. 

 

_______________

 

 In hindsight, it would have been better to call before showing up out of the blue.

 

 “What’s up, sugar?”

 

“Holy shit!”

 

 Gabriel thought that Sam leaping back and falling out of his chair was kind of dramatic, but he was in no place to complain.

 

“You...you’re dead.”

 

 “Evidently not!”

 

 Sam picked himself up off of the ground and walked towards him, staring in wonder. Gabriel went forward to hold him, or be held. Either one worked.

 

 Instead, Sam’s fist decided to shake hands with his face.

 

“I thought you were dead for  _ weeks!”  _ Sam yelled, grabbing Gabriel by the shirt collar. “I saw you  _ die  _ right in front of me! You send us a fucking goodbye porno, and right when I’m trying to get my shit together, you poof back in like nothing happened!”

 

 “I can explain if you put me down, I swear.”

 

 For a second, he was convinced that he was about to get thrown through the motel’s barf-green wall. It was almost surprising to be set down onto the floor. Sam went to sit on the edge of the bed and stared at him expectantly, hurt written all over his face.

 

 “Can I hold you first?”

 

 A small nod and suddenly Gabriel was holding a six foot four puppy. Sam had laid down next to him, scooting over so he could bury his face into Gabriel’s chest. 

 

 “I didn’t have the power to come back or get into contact with you. I just managed to get up and start walking around yesterday. It’s a miracle I got here without killing myself.”

 

“Okay.”

 

 “Okay?” Gabriel asked. “You don’t want an explanation?”

 

“As long as you’re not dead and with me, I don’t need one.”

 

 It’d been two years since this had started, three if you counted the time they spent apart after their not so one night stand, and Gabriel had come to a conclusion. He was in love with Sam, very much so. 

 

“Gabe?” Sam cut him off mid-thought. “Can I say something?”

 

 “No, you’re not allowed to. Yes you’re allowed to, numbskull!”

 

“I think I’m attached to you.”

 

 “Don’t worry, kid. I’m attached to you too!”

 

“I mean the ‘I’m in love with your stupid, oblivious ass’ attached.”

 

 He didn’t have to process it, the words seemed to automatically register. Gabriel tipped Sam’s head up to look at him and captured his lips. They’d kissed countless times, whether it was before, during, or after sex, they didn’t care. This one was different. This was a desperate, warm ‘I love you and I never want to let you go’ kiss. The kind you keep in your mind forever and think of whenever you feel like you’re dying. 

 

 “I’m in love with your dumb ass too, sweets.”

 

_______________

  
  


 “SAM,  _ NO!” _

 

 The last thing Gabriel saw before Sam threw himself into the pit was a silent goodbye, an ‘i love you’ mouthed as his beloved fell. 

 

 He knew it was useless, but he ran over to where a massive hole used to be. The ground was fine, almost as if nothing had happened. Something had. Something terrible.

 

 “No, no no no no! Come on Sam, you can do this. Come back out, Sammy,” He hit his palm up against the ground, a futile attempt to break through to the cage. “Please, please come back out. Please!”

 

 If he would have arrived a few seconds earlier, Sam would still be here. They would have found a way to fix it all without this outcome. 

 

 There are so many different types of sadness, but what he was feeling surpassed that. He had no words to describe it, nothing other than he felt like he’d gotten hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer. They stopped the world from ending, but his world had imploded anyway.

 

 Gabriel slammed his fists down on the ground and yelled and cried until his knuckles were bloody, until his fingers were wrecked and broken. He didn’t bother healing them, what was the point if he’d only do it again?

 

 Someone stopped him, picking him up with ease and healing his hands.

 

“I am deeply sorry, brother,” Castiel said. “I know you were very attached to him.”

 

 “ _ Attached?”  _ Gabriel yanked his hands back from Castiel's grip. Anger bubbled up inside him, anger at everyone but his little brother. “Fuck you, Cassie. You know it was more than that.”

 

 Gabriel flew away and tried to forget. It didn’t work. 

 

_______________

 

 It had been chance, finding Sam. Nobody had called Gabriel, nobody had texted, emailed, mailed, or even sent out a telegram for him. He found out while he was out and about, walking through the streets and contemplating who was enough of an asshole to fuck with. 

 

 He’d almost snapped himself out of there once he caught a whiff of Sam’s cologne. The thing that made him stay and look around as frantically as he did was the face that he’d had that cologne tailor-made for Sam. 

 

 There was no way to tell who it belonged to, not in this crowd. So he tried out his sure-fire tactic of finding people in large areas.

 

__ “Sam!”

 

 A man turned to look around, see who’d called his name, and oh good father. It was Sam.

 

 “SAM! OVER HERE!” 

 

 Sure, he could have waited until Sam came over to him, but he decided it was a better idea to snap them out of a damn New York subway station and into a pleasant field they used to love visiting. As usual, Sam was disoriented. An archangel launching himself at Sam probably didn’t help either. Gabriel bowled him over and showered him with affection, tears falling from his eyes as he did.

 

 “I thought you were dead, I thought you were in hell, I thought you weren’t coming back, sugar. I thought I lost you.” 

 

“Gabriel?”

 

 Sam picked them both up so that he could look down at Gabriel. He locked eyes with his lover, confusion and uncertainty rushing through him. There was something wrong, he could tell. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.

 

 “Hey Sammy. Are you okay?”

 

“Oh, yeah. I’m doing fine now.”

 

 His eyes were different, almost cold,Gabriel noticed. They were missing something. Sam was missing something.

 

 “How did you get out of the pit, Sam? I saw you, you fell right in and you were gone. How are you here?”

 

“What, are you complaining?” It was a joke, but it sounded off, dry and sarcastic in ways that weren’t  _ Sam.  _ “Castiel got me out. Dragged me back up here.”

 

 “How long ago?”

 

“Hmm...about two months?”

 

 “Two months?” Gabriel gawked at him. “You didn’t try to get ahold of me at all?”

 

 Shrugging, Sam came closer to rest his hands on Gabriel’s hips. “I didn’t think too much about it.” 

 

 “Alright,” That stung, but Sam was so close and the smell of him was so intoxicating that he couldn’t help but lean into him. He couldn’t help but to forgive and forget faster than he could blink. “I missed you so much. I love you so much, Sammy.”

 

 Sam hummed. “That’s the problem.”

 

 Gabriel didn’t have a chance to ask, he didn’t have the time to do anything at all, not when Sam knew exactly where he kept his archangel blade. Not when Sam had plunged it straight into his heart. 

 

 “I told you, Gabriel,” Sam said, his eyes cold and emotionless and  _ soulless. _ Cas had forgotten something, and now Gabriel knew exactly what it was. “I can’t get attached.”

 

 Gabriel closed his eyes before Sam twisted the knife, thinking back to that first ‘i love you’. When the blade pierced his heart and the light left his eyes, the last thing he thought of were puppy eyes and dimples, shaggy hair and laughter.

 

 Sam stared at the body on the ground. He didn’t feel much of anything now, and the few times he did, he didn’t think he was capable of processing it. Gabriel, he was something he felt too much for. It was too overwhelming. Too much. Now, he was unattached. He was okay.

 

 Sam threw the blade behind his shoulder, not caring where it landed. Hands tucked in his pockets, he turned and walked away.

  
 He didn’t look back once.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know. I didn't expect it either. Sorry Gabriel, sorry Sam, sorry guys! 
> 
> This happened because Reaper Man is honestly such a perfect song for Soulless Sam. It popped up on my playlist and now here I am. Crying and wondering WHY I'M LIKE THIS! 
> 
> Hopefully the next one is happier! Depending on which WIP I finish up, we'll see what happens.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on Instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at innersanctuaries if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


End file.
